Mental health counseling is something that isn’t talked about much. Where I’m from, it actually isn’t talked about at all. It’s like it’s some type of taboo or something. The stigma around mental health is real, especially in the black community. I’m not sure if it’s because people are ashamed of what others will think of them because they are seeking help or if they just are afraid of what might happen if they get mental health counseling.
Well here’s the thing – the conversation has to change starting today.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking mental health counseling. In fact, there are huge benefits to seeking counseling. Not only will you have a healthier mental state but your children will benefit from it. (This post from Good Girl Gone Redneck with mental health truths is the bomb).
Parents just don’t realize how much they jack their kids up because they’re jacked up. It always shocks me when kids become adults and parents are so frazzled that their kids are always in trouble with the law or can’t hold a steady job. Let’s be real, the problem more than likely started at home sometime during their childhood (check out this post by Clumps of Mascara about mental health counseling).
I can’t tell you how many people in my life alone need mental health counseling but I won’t start dropping names. However, I am going to share with you 5 types of mamas and papas who need mental health counseling and why.
1. Narcissistic Nancy
If you don’t know what a narcissist is, I’m going to tell you because chances are that there is someone like this in your life. A narcissist is a person has an inflated sense of self-importance. You know that person that is always talking about themselves the entire phone call? The person that expects something for every birthday, Christmas, and Mother’s/Father’s Day no matter what struggle you’re going through? Yeah, that person is probably a narcissist if they only seem to be concerned with their own being and no one else.
Let me tell you, there’s nothing worse than a mama who’s all about herself. How can you actively take care of your children when you’re always so busy thinking about yourself? YOU CAN’T! And guess what? More than likely, if you don’t seek mental health counseling to learn how to control or change you’re thinking, your kids are going to slip through the cracks.
Narcissists tend to show signs at early adulthood but it’s never too soon to seek counseling. Mental health counseling can help Narcissistic Nancy see the world outside of herself. Counseling can probably even help save relationships if it’s sought out before it’s too late.
2. Helicopter Helen
I don’t even think I need to explain this one much. Okay, maybe to the fellas but I think all of us mamas knows a helicopter mom when we see one. A helicopter mom is one that just won’t let go. She has to see, do, know, and be everywhere her child is. Like, let your damn child breathe for a minute. The best thing about being a kid is that you’re supposed to have fun. Kids can’t have fun and make their own mistakes if you are constantly hovering over them and trying to control every move they make. Like, no. Back up Helen. Let your kids be kids so they can create childhood memories.
And when your kids grow up and move on, you need to move on too. Your kids will always be your kids but when they are full grown baby-making adults, girl bye. Stop trying to peer into every aspect of their lives. The best part of being a mom to me is seeing my kids make decisions on their own. I know that they will take something away from whatever they decide whether it is the right or wrong decision. If you’re not confident that your child will survive in this world without you hovering over them every second of the day then maybe somewhere along the line you messed up.
Helicopter Helen, you need to seek mental health counseling probably even before you have children. You and the people surrounding you know how controlling you are so someone should step up and point you in the right direction. Don’t try to control everything because it will only lead to disappointment.
3. Slut Shaming Steve
This one might not be what you think. We’ve all seen those popular memes around prom or homecoming time where Daddy answers the door with a gun to meet his daughter’s date. Well, I’m here to tell you that Slut Shaming Steve you need mental health counseling. Here’s why:
- You’re a grown ass man. You should not be answering the door with a gun when it’s just a little boy at the door. As a mother, I’m mad at you for treating my son that way. My son was raised right and will treat your daughter like the princess that she is. Do not go slut shaming my son and threatening him. It’s not even slightly funny.
- Do the work in your own home first. If you raise your daughter to have respect for herself then no little boy is going to be able to coerce her into doing anything that she doesn’t want to.
- If she wants to have sex, the girl is going to have sex. Consider having an open conversation with your daughter about safe sex so she knows how to take the proper precautions if that’s what she decides to do.
- If and only if something goes left, teach your daughter how to defend herself against said little boy so you’re not out in these streets shooting at somebody else’s son and causing a whole mess.
4. Alcoholic Albert
Albert, Albert, Albert. This man right here drowns every sorrow with a bottle. Maybe he’s not really an alcoholic but alcohol soothes his soul and that’s a problem. No one should seek refuge in a bottle. Drinking is not a healthy coping mechanism. Healthy ways to cope can be discovered through mental health counseling. Healthy alternatives could be journaling, exercising, singing, or even walking. Not only is this not a healthy coping mechanism but it’s a dangerous one.
Drinking can lead to other health problems and even problems in your relationships. Alcohol can affect your ability to make appropriate decisions and could even affect your parenting skills. If you or someone you know identifies with Alcoholic Albert then you should seek help right away. Find a healthy way to deal with stress, anger, anxiety or just life in general.
5. Party Patty
Do you know someone who just loves to party all the time? I think we all know at least one person that loves to party. However, when that person loves to party to the point that it interferes with their parenting that’s where the issue comes in. No parent should prioritize partying over parenting. Let’s be real, you shouldn’t be out partying every weekend and leaving your kids with someone else. Oh, and you definitely should reconsider partying during the week when you’ve got a 9-5 and kids to get to school.
Party Patty tends to love partying for a few reasons:
- They weren’t ready to accept the responsibility of parenting.
- Somewhere along the line in their childhood, they missed out on all of the fun stuff so now they are trying to catch up.
- Partying makes them forget about the reality of life.
There probably are tons of other reasons why Patty loves to party but the only way to find the underlying cause is to seek mental health counseling.
To be honest, I think everyone could use a bit of mental health counseling. Some of us definitely could use more than others but I digress. Check out this post from 2 Chicks 1 Old Lady to see how she battles her mental health journey. We’re all in this together and together we can change the conversation surrounding mental health. Let’s start being open and honest, not only with ourselves but with each other. Most importantly, remember to be supportive of everyone including yourself.
Find more information about where you can seek help at www.nami.org.